I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize