i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize