To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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