every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I need a beard to bite.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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