im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
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It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize