i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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