I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She's the barista slut.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize