she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize