Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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