I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
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Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize