I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
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Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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