youre lurking in front of me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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