My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
third nipple confirmed
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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