Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
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I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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