So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
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Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize