Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Vodka?
Forever.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize