well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
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Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
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It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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