you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
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we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
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You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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