a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
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She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
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If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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