I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
tell me about the fingering
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