Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just invented taco cereal.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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