Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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