He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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