Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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