My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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