Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?

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  (904): Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out (1-904): How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction? http://tfl.nu/euyr
  Replies (8) Good night (1611) Bad night (716)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.

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  (516): Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid. http://tfl.nu/hcvk
  Replies (47) Good night (5036) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.

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  (317): I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap. http://tfl.nu/sbkp
  Replies (16) Good night (2607) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

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  (403): I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like. http://tfl.nu/sasf
  Replies (25) Good night (9111) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.

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  (931): a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra. http://tfl.nu/ga1u
  Replies (68) Good night (27435) Bad night (1644)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left

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  (772): she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left http://tfl.nu/4rhs
  Replies (20) Good night (895) Bad night (7817) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.

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  (781): Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night. http://tfl.nu/89jq
  Replies (15) Good night (1623) Bad night (4033) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart

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  (815): Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart http://tfl.nu/4qqp
  Replies (19) Good night (7535) Bad night (1392)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today

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  (847): The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today http://tfl.nu/8pjx
  Replies (7) Good night (2633) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.

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  (714): found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good. http://tfl.nu/7tze
  Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (2142) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.

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  (215): We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left. http://tfl.nu/c9gd
  Replies (6) Good night (594) Bad night (2034) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.

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  (931): And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara. http://tfl.nu/ndct
  Replies (6) Good night (1501) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.

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  (570): I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out. http://tfl.nu/9vp6
  Replies (7) Good night (1826) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.

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  (803): He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple. http://tfl.nu/4atf
  Replies (2) Good night (986) Bad night (136)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.

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  (248): They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror. http://tfl.nu/3vjx
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt

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