Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize