I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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