Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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