3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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