Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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