Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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