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if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Randomize
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