; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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