Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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