i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
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You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
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Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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