with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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