I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize