dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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