I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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