He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
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I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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