So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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