it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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