whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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