So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize