is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize