JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize