Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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