Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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