I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize