4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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