cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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